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Showing posts with label gestures. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gestures. Show all posts

Thursday, 11 February 2016

Head to toe - The signs you show - Part two

You can find the first part of this article here

Contd....

Some of the popular gestures and actions are like this

The head position of a person can indicate what is the initial reaction of the person of what he is hearing. A neutral head position means neutral attitude, he has not decided either way. Where as when the head tilts to one side it shows that he is interested and if the head is down, it shows that the attitude is negative and even judgmental. 


A person who has a "know- it-all" attitude normally holds both his hands behind his head which is normally found to be irritating to others. This gesture is typical of professionals like lawyers, sales managers, bank managers etc. 


Hand on the hips pose is the most common gestures used by people to communicate an aggressive attitude. You can imagine your mom and dad often using this pose while telling you about your bad behaviour


When you lean against other people or objects, you are showing that you have a territorial claim to that object or person. But leaning is also used as a method of dominance or intimidation when the object being leaned on belongs to someone else.

For example : if you are taking a photograph of a friend and his his new car, home or other property, you will inevitably find that he leans against his newly acquired property, putting his foot on it etc. When he touches the property, it becomes an extension of his body and in this way he shows others that it belongs to him. 


When you are copying the gestures of the person with whom you are talking, it shows that you are in agreement with his ideas and attitude. You are non-verbally saying to the other "As you can see, I think the same as you, so I will copy your posture and gestures"

If you are attending an interview or meeting your employer etc, to create a relaxed environment ant to develop immediate rapport, you only need to copy that person's posture to achieve this. This will put them in a receptive and relaxed frame of mind, as they can "See" that you understand his point of view.


In many circumstances while we are deferring to another person's superiority we lower ourselves physically to show the submission. Historically, lowering the height of one's body in front of another person has been used as a means of establishing superior / subordinate relationships. 

This lowering the body gesture can at times get you out of sticky situations, because it non-verbally communicates that you are deferring to the other person's authority. If you are stopped by traffic policeman for breaking any rule. If you don't get out of your car and making the policeman lean down on you, you are creating a physical barrier of car in between you and making him lower himself where as in this circumstance, the police officer is obviously in a superior position to you. By doing this you are making things worse. 


Rather than that if you get immediately out of your car and go over, stoop your body over so that you are smaller in size, lower yourself by telling how foolish you were and by doing it raising his status. Additionally talking with you palms out to show you are being truthful, this is get you out of a sticky situation more than usual times. 


 People often try to control to show what they are actually feeling and most of the times they concentrate all their control on  facial expressions and hand gestures. But even the position or movement of feet can tell you the truth. Fidgeting while under stress or when they are nervous, tapping the foot, shuffle etc. Feet is relaxed when they are relieved of tension.

And also in a group the position of a feet can tell you where they are interested. If they are  having a impersonal conversation they will have a open triangular or loosely formed group where anybody is welcome to weight in. If they are talking something intimate their feet will point only towards the person they are communicating with and show that its closed conversation. 

The foot indicates the direction in which  a person would like to go, but they are also used to point at people who are interesting or attractive. 





There are also certain postures which will trick your mind to think something else. When you need a boost of confidence you can hold your body in expansive "high power" poses. That is leaning back with hands behind the head and feet up on a desk or standing with legs and arms stretched wide open. Even done for two minutes this stimulates higher levels of testosterone - the hormone linked to power and prominence.

To improve your speech, use your hands. Brain imaging has shown that a region called Broca's area, which is important for speech production is active not only when we are talking, but also when we wave our hands. So gesturing as we talk can actually power up our thinking. 

There is also a "super human pose" where you stand straight with legs apart, fists on  your hips and shoulders back with your head tilted up. Which will boost your confidence and make you  feel like you are superman and can do anything. Use this technique before taking a momentous work on your hands. 


To remember what that other person is talking don't cross your hands or legs while they are speaking, this open gesture will make your mind more receptive to accept other's thoughts.

This is just a tip of iceberg, if you constantly observe yourself and others you will understand the basic gestures and subtle differences in they body according to the circumstance. Know more about yourself by knowing what non verbal signals your body is emoting. 

P.S. Good luck reading others and yourself  :)
 





Saturday, 6 February 2016

Head to toe - The signs you show - Part one


Have you ever wondered why are we comfortable with certain people and we are not with some? Why we feel instinctively rejected out of a conversation or not accepted in a group? And lastly why do we never feel rejected and rather bold in the virtual world rather than in actual world?

Our communication is not only the words we speak, many unsaid communication with the spoken word together makes a complete communication. The tone of our voice, the gesture, the eyes, how our body moves, everything indicates what we want to communicate.

Body language is just that language of the body. If you think you show emotions only through your face well that's not true. Facial expressions are just a tip of the iceberg. Your entire body participates in the business of either showing or hiding your mental state. To control that display means you have to control your body's unconscious cues. Let me unravel a few mysteries of body language. 


Every person has a territorial zone, 6-18 inches is intimate zone, 18-48 inches (till about 1.22 meter) is personal zone, 4 to 12 feet is social zone. Standing too close to a acquaintance and too far away from the loved one during an important conversation can make them uncomfortable. Your intimate zone will be normally around 6 - 18 inches from your body. Remember this as in this zone a person will feel comfortable to let only family members or loved ones. You might be making someone feel uncomfortable or threatened if you enter this zone.



While talking the palm gestures you make can tell if you are dominant or submissive or arrogant and aggressive. Palm facing up normally suggests submissiveness, open and honest. Palm facing down is dominant, rigid and uncooperative.


 If you extend your hand for a shake palm facing up, that means you are greeting them by giving control to them. If your hand faces down, means you are taking control of the conversation. A neutral handshake where the palms of both are neither face down or up will make the other person feel comfortable because it shows you are greeting them as an equal. 



Interesting fact is some people often give a glove handshake where they shake the hand of a person with both hands, this is also called as politician's handshake where they are trying to convey that they are trustworthy but it gives an opposite effect. The receiver feels suspicious and cautious, so use this handshake only with the people you know well.     


One of the few gestures we carried to our adult from child is covering the mouth with hands while speaking. This gesture is a sub conscious effort to suppress the deceitful words that are being said. Sometimes it may only be a several fingers over the mouth or even a closed fist. Many people try to disguise this gesture by a fake cough, but the meaning remains the same that he is being dishonest. But, rather amusingly if he covers his mouth while you are speaking, it indicates that he thinks you are lying 


Crossing your hands is a very common gesture when a person is being defensive or negative. Commonly people use this when they are among strangers in public as they are feeling uncertain or insecure. This a unconscious gesture to guard themselves against anything.



But we may wonder how do politicians and salesmen cope as they are among strangers almost everyday. They have a disguised arm cross which is a highly sophisticated gestures like checking their cuffs, holding a file or an item across their body in a very casual way because they don't want their audience to know that they are nervous. 

P.S.: 
Before you start to search for these gestures among your people, let me tell you that body language is instinctive to most part, if you keep analyzing every gesture you will miss out the most important part, THE WORDS. So don't go on body language analyzing spree, this just to let you know if you are unable to understand a person through his/her words or to understand the unspoken warnings of someone. Also so that you will understand if you are unconsciously making someone feel unwanted, rejected or uncomfortable.

Wait for the next part. 
(This means All OK) Courtesy : Google images



You can read the second part of this article here