Wednesday, 2 March 2016

A friend in need....

Friends are those family that we choose for ourselves. Among those many sweet, nice and naughty friends everybody has that one person on whom they can trust their life. Best friend - the best of friends - BFF (best friend forever), no matter what you call them, they are the best. 

But I wondered time and again, when does a friend become best friend. Was that when I spilled out my most embarrassing moment, or when I didn't worry that I might be boring them, Maybe it was when I knew I can count on them. There is no hard and fast rule to define a friendship, let alone a best friend. 

Many researchers say that there needs to be certain level of intimacy required between two best friends. Emotional and Mental intimacy where even a change of sentence in chat will alert if either one of them is upset. But there is a special component in best friends, they support our social - identity support, where a friend supports and understands our self in society. 

Every person in this world needs at least one best friend to lean on. You many wonder why?... we can be self sufficient without best friend. 

Yes, you can be. They are not vital for living, but essential for the quality of our life. When we look back at the life we lived we will never document the moments we were alone or only with some acquaintances. But every memory spent with good / best friends will be catelogued. Man being a social being needs to surround himself with people he can share his life with. 

Well if you are still not convinced, let me list out a few things about best friends

1. They provide you comfort - It may be at the end of a bad day, bad relationship or just a bad moment. They are there to listen to your whining and always a step ahead to scold all the people responsible (according to you) for it. They will do whatever needs to be done to comfort you and bring you out of your misery.

2. You have a secret language : You can just state something and most often they will immediately recognize what you are talking about. This can happen only among best friends and it is an amazing feeling, when you can just vent and not explain every sentence, Its like only they can decode your  cryptic message.  

3. Honest opinions : If you shirt is ridiculous or you have put on weight. If you acted unreasonably or when you hurt someone. If you are acting like a snob or when you egoistic arrogant maniac. It is only a best friend who will tell you to shut up and review your act. One of the few people in your life, who care so much that they will risk your anger to tell you where you were wrong

4. Partners in crime : There is a surprise party to plan or to spy on someone. To gossip or to cover up the story. Your hand will dial their number on your own for anything and everything. 

5. You can be "You" with them : The best part of this relationship is you don't have to be someone else. You can be "You". In this time and place, there are very few places where you can be You without being scrutinized. Even while you are alone your own insecurities will not let you be "You". But with this person, all bets are off. You can be as crazy, as goofy, as nerdy and as weirdy as you want. Imagine the relief

6. Listening : May it be a short expression or a monologue of epic kind. They love you enough to conjure up patience to listen to all your ramblings without judging or piling up their opinions.. just listening. Ahh the bliss :)

7. Secrets : This is one unbreakable box of your secrets. Even after you end your friendship you can trust this person to hold on to your secrets like always. My advice - Don't lose them.

8. Appreciation and Encouragement : The one person in the whole world who will appreciate even your minute work and encourage you even when your family lets you down. That one person who has your back even when the whole world has turned their back on you. And who will always encourage you no matter what they are going through.

9. A shoulder : At times all we want is to cry our heart out and somebody to lean on. No words, no sounds, no suggestions, no advice. Just a shoulder to cry on

10. Love : They love you. Love your stupidity, love your craziness, love all the unlovable things in you. Love you when they hate you, love you more when they love you. Love you even when you don't love them back. They just love you without any other reason that they love you.

There is no end to the things they do for us. No description for the support they give us. No comparison for how they stand up for us, sometimes fight with us for us. Best friends are like beacon of light, when you are stumbling in the dark. If you have a friend like that treasure them. They are a rarity :)

P.S: Sri, this is dedicated to you. You are a wonderful friend who has gone through my crazies. You are one of those rare persons that I feel lucky to have as my best friend. You share your birthday with my dad. Who was my first best friend. He was the one who taught me many amazing things. And you are the one who encourages to explore all of those. 

May you find all that you are searching, may you always be loved and treasured. Happy birthday Sri.


  1. What a pleasant way of wishing :)
    Happy Birthday to you Sri :)

  2. and arpita are bowing down our head and saluting your writing power.

    what a way to narrate a beautiful way to express a great life of friendship.. each and every line is true and fact.

    A great sea can be sailed across with a ship...but a wonderful journey from heart to heart can be travelled only with a beautiful yatch called friendship.

    amazing write up i can say (even this blog is dedicated to me..which is a wonderful gift for me on my recharging date..)

    You have not left any point untouched...super nivi..super

    once again thanks from my side for a great write up dedicate to my fav day and also am fortunate enough to share a great person's birthday on my day..

    super nivi