Have you ever wondered why are we comfortable with certain people and we are not with some? Why we feel instinctively rejected out of a conversation or not accepted in a group? And lastly why do we never feel rejected and rather bold in the virtual world rather than in actual world?
Our communication is not only the words we speak, many unsaid communication with the spoken word together makes a complete communication. The tone of our voice, the gesture, the eyes, how our body moves, everything indicates what we want to communicate.
Body language is just that language of the body. If you think you show emotions only through your face well that's not true. Facial expressions are just a tip of the iceberg. Your entire body participates in the business of either showing or hiding your mental state. To control that display means you have to control your body's unconscious cues. Let me unravel a few mysteries of body language.
Every person has a territorial zone, 6-18 inches is intimate zone, 18-48 inches (till about 1.22 meter) is personal zone, 4 to 12 feet is social zone. Standing too close to a acquaintance and too far away from the loved one during an important conversation can make them uncomfortable. Your intimate zone will be normally around 6 - 18 inches from your body. Remember this as in this zone a person will feel comfortable to let only family members or loved ones. You might be making someone feel uncomfortable or threatened if you enter this zone.
While talking the palm gestures you make can tell if you are dominant or submissive or arrogant and aggressive. Palm facing up normally suggests submissiveness, open and honest. Palm facing down is dominant, rigid and uncooperative.
If you extend your hand for a shake palm facing up, that means you are greeting them by giving control to them. If your hand faces down, means you are taking control of the conversation. A neutral handshake where the palms of both are neither face down or up will make the other person feel comfortable because it shows you are greeting them as an equal.
Interesting fact is some people often give a glove handshake where they shake the hand of a person with both hands, this is also called as politician's handshake where they are trying to convey that they are trustworthy but it gives an opposite effect. The receiver feels suspicious and cautious, so use this handshake only with the people you know well.
One of the few gestures we carried to our adult from child is covering the mouth with hands while speaking. This gesture is a sub conscious effort to suppress the deceitful words that are being said. Sometimes it may only be a several fingers over the mouth or even a closed fist. Many people try to disguise this gesture by a fake cough, but the meaning remains the same that he is being dishonest. But, rather amusingly if he covers his mouth while you are speaking, it indicates that he thinks you are lying
Crossing your hands is a very common gesture when a person is being defensive or negative. Commonly people use this when they are among strangers in public as they are feeling uncertain or insecure. This a unconscious gesture to guard themselves against anything.
But we may wonder how do politicians and salesmen cope as they are among strangers almost everyday. They have a disguised arm cross which is a highly sophisticated gestures like checking their cuffs, holding a file or an item across their body in a very casual way because they don't want their audience to know that they are nervous.
Before you start to search for these gestures among your people, let me tell you that body language is instinctive to most part, if you keep analyzing every gesture you will miss out the most important part, THE WORDS. So don't go on body language analyzing spree, this just to let you know if you are unable to understand a person through his/her words or to understand the unspoken warnings of someone. Also so that you will understand if you are unconsciously making someone feel unwanted, rejected or uncomfortable.
Wait for the next part.
|(This means All OK) Courtesy : Google images|